Wheeling and Dealing with Office Politics

Ah, yes, office politics. The reason we all haul ourselves out of bed early in the morning, never mind the pounding post-tequila hangover, and deposit protesting body and soul at our desk, ready to work and, well, play dirty.

Politics, the office variety and otherwise, is by nature “dirty,” employed usually to gain illegitimate, unearned advantages over another for financial dividends and a career upgrade. It’s sordid business, but like the foot fungus in the men’s locker room, it’s nearly impossible to avoid. It applies to company presidents, to doctors, to medical office assistants, even to pharmacy technicians. It’s the fungus that we all must learn to deal with at the office.

So here are some tips on playing dirty cleanly:

 Chill. When the manager congratulates the supervisor for a bright idea that the supervisor thought was stupid when you presented it to him, chill. When your favorite back stabber in the next cubicle complains to the supervisor that you talk too long to the client, chill. Keep your cool at all times and under all circumstances. It will serve you in good stead in the long run. Besides, there’s always karma.

Fire and forget. Well maybe not the first, but definitely the second. The phrase comes from modern air-to-air combat: you fire your missile and forget about it because it’s going to hit and destroy its target no matter what.  Thank goodness the office is not the skies over Sarajevo, but it is definitely a place for (lots of) forgiveness. It’s a good word to have on you and, believe it or not, even a better weapon to wield. Amen to that.

Psst. Did you hear about the hamster in Mr. Pendington’s pocket? If you did, don’t say. If you didn’t, don’t ask. Simply steering clear of gossip (yes, it’s hard, especially if it’s about hamsters) and gossipmongers guarantees that you don’t get burned by the heat and creates a firebreak at your end that could contain the gossip before it conflagrates into something wilder. It may not be the hottest and the latest, but mum’s the word. 

All’s Fair in War and Peace. Yep, that’s a little confused, but office politics is like that, often confused and always devoid of good sense. But if push comes to shove, shovel back the Shetland pony. But do take counsel from Dr. Debra Davenport, an organizational development expert: Target and deal with the behavior, never the person. Confront the maligning party privately, fairly, and if possible, without prejudging the situation or the person. Peace.

Patience is definitely a key but don’t forget to work hard, get the right career training courses and play fair always.